All year long, your husband works hard to provide for you and your family. This Father’s Day, give him something extraordinary to show your appreciation. Not a tie, power tool, or a new gadget, but a gift of yourself.
It doesn’t take any new research or an opinion poll to know that a man’s number one need is sexual fulfillment. In Dr. Willard Harley’s book, His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage, he says the first thing a husband wants is for his wife to be affectionate, warm, and loving. The problem is that the typical husband has never met that requirement. After all, a husband is usually focused on his career, his driving, and his play.
So, what’s a guy to do? His dream is to share his wife with another woman, but more than likely, that isn’t going to happen. So he does what he does best: he tries to overcome his problems by hooking up somehow.
Although that may work for a while, the fact is, it never does. Couples find themselves stuck in a rut, with one partner feeling more secure than the other. It’s not that more than one person is having a problem; it’s that both partners don’t know how to deal with the problem.
Dr. Harley says, “The best treatment for sexual problems is fairly simple: communication.” But how do you talk about sexual problems with your partner?
If your husband comes home wrapped up in sweats, you know you have to have better sex than that. And if he’s home done up in an old bathrobe, you probably don’t want to know how bad it will get. The word problem, unfortunately, has emerged as a word for couples experiencing marital issues.
Sex therapists say the best approach for couples is to be able to talk openly about the problem. And the best way to talk about it is uncompromising. Talk about the problem, but say you’re on the way to solving it. That way, you’re focusing on a solution that’s within reach.
In addition to the above, there are some basic steps that every couple can take to kick-start their sex life:
1. Have a naked bath.
2. Wash each other’s backs.
3. Put on a condom.
4. Use lube.
5. Let the kids sleep more.
6. Talk about the problem.
7. Make changes to your routine.
8. Get to know your partner a little better.
9. Manage your expectations.
10. Make changes to your lifestyle.
As you can see, it’s not that hard to reignite your relationship. It’s just a matter of doing a few basic steps. And trust me, these steps will get you pointed in the right direction fast.
Oh, wait. Do you have to keep that bedroom spark?
Don’t rush it. Spouses mix and match for a reason. Let your love life naturally continue, or take off on a late-night honeymoon. In the meantime, all you need to do is take a few minutes to make a few basic “touch points.” After all, you’re both probably pretty tired the next day, so you might as well put your feet up or take a quick nap.
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